


Kono Kalakaua as an Evil Mastermind

by jesseofthenorth



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Christmas, First Kiss, M/M, Mistletoe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-18
Updated: 2011-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-27 12:43:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/295991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesseofthenorth/pseuds/jesseofthenorth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for finduilas_clln's prompt : Kono (or anyone, really) gets over-excited with mistletoe in the office.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kono Kalakaua as an Evil Mastermind

Danny thinks someone needs to explain to Kono that she really is not subtle. At all.

It started out with a single solitary sprig directly above the coffee maker. Danny probably would have missed it he hadn't been standing around, waiting for the brew to finish, taking in the Christmas decorations that had sprung up all over the office.

He liked Christmas well enough but Danny wasn't feeling it this year. He didn't really hate Hawaii anymore, honestly, there was a lot here that he lov- really liked. But he was still stuck with the crumbs of a life instead of even having a little piece of what he wanted and this time of year Danny really felt it. He mostly didn't want to talk about what it was he wanted or even think about it.

He shut Kono down cold when she showed up at his office door with a box of Christmas crap. “No! Keep that shit out of here!” he felt like kind of an asshole for being the cause of the hurt look on her face but she was gone before he could even think of apologizing.

He caught her later though and apologized, or tried to. It wasn't Kono's fault his life sucked. “It's okay brah. I get it” the sad look in her eye told Danny she probably did. It didn't make him any more enthusiastic about Christmas.

And yet there he was, waiting for the slow as hell coffee maker to puke out some brew, wondering how she got the damn mistletoe all the way up there. Danny did a very careful three steps to the left and congratulated himself on both his skills at observing and avoiding. He should have known it wouldn't work.

See the thing is once Kono gets her hands on an idea she really likes she is persistent. And some how or another she has decided that she needs Danny to embrace the love of his life. She has also decided that the love of his life is Steve.

Steve for god's sake! Steve who is a lunatic, and never does a damn thing Danny tells him, and runs into shit half cocked all the time! Steve who is the King of fuck and run as far as Danny can tell. Steve who shows no sign of being into guys or relationships.

Steve who drives him so crazysometimes all Danny can do is splutter or gasp like a fish.

Unreasonable son of a bitch!

No way is Danny, on his craziest day, crazy enough to start anything with that guy. They are _friends_ , good friends, and no matter what kind of whacko ideas anyone gets they are staying friends. So Kono can go peddle her mistletoe somewhere else.

Unfortunately that is exactly what she does.

There are a couple of days where nothing in the decoration department changes at the office. There is still too much tinsel and the mistletoe is till up in the break room (but Danny has gotten pretty skillful at avoiding it).

He unfortunately also finds himself thinking about it when he is waiting for his coffee again. Contemplating in a caffeine deprivation induced haze,what it would be like to just say fuck it and kiss the shit out of Steve. Danny is man enough to admit he has followed this train of thought before. He dismisses the idea yet again. It still wouldn't be worth the punch in the face.

Danny goes back to his office without coffee, and doesn't spend another second thinking about mistletoe or what kind of kisser McGarrett is. Fucker is probably as good at that as he is at everything else. Still not worth the face punch or the ruin of the best friendship he's ever had.

If only his denial would be enough. But denial stands no chance in the face of Kono's steadfastly held delusion.

He gets to work a little late the Friday before Christmas and the doors of the elevator have closed behind him before he figures out he should probably run.

There is mistletoe everywhere. No really! _Everywhere_! Garlands of it spread across ceilings, bouquets of the shit over ever doorway and archway in the place. Danny casts around for an escape route. He sees with relief that she has followed his edict on anything in his office. The problem is that there is absolutely no way to get there without passing under multiple sprigs of the shit. And really what the hell?! Where did she even fins this much mistletoe? Isn't it parasitic or something? As careful as the state Ag dept is about invasive species don't they have some kind of moratorium-

“Morning Danny!” the evil devil woman says cheerfully from her vantage point by his beloved coffee maker. His beloved coffee maker that is completely surrounded by a sea

of mistletoe! That is just- well it's cruel is what it is!

She holds up his favorite cup and waggles it temptingly. The bitch! Danny glares at her and she just grins even bigger. Then she takes a drink of her own coffee and lets out a little moan of satisfaction. Cruel!

Well screw this! Danny Williams is a grown man and he has faced down some seriously scary shit in his life. This scrawny little chick and her noxious weed don't scare him!

Danny marches across the room and snatches his mug out her hand with a growl. This fucking coffee better be awesome!

He is about to take his first drink when he hears directly behind him and far too close “Mornin' Danno.” And really Danny is basically fucked because that voice right there? Should be illegal,it probably is in some southern states. How is it even possible for anyone's voice to sound so fucking hot?

Danny tries really hard not to look wildly for an escape route.

He still has to get out of here though. Kono and her weed and her interfering pushy schemes at the very best have set him up for grand-scale embarrassment and at worst the much dreaded punch in the face.

He gets a firm grip on his coffee and his sanity and prepares to flee.

Except. Steve. Who is standing directly behind him.

Danny tries to step around him, feeling a a flash of panic when Steve mirrors his movement entirely blocking his retreat.

“Going somewhere Danny?” Steve asks and takes a step closer.

Steve is close enough now that Danny can smell him. And that's bad, very bad! Danny can feel the overwhelming urge to do something stupid so he takes a hasty step back. Steve, the bastard, keeps pace with Danny's attempted retreat. So Danny takes another step back and when that doesn't help another. Until his ass hits the counter behind him and Danny realizes he's out of room.

It gets worse though, because now Steve is leaning in an grinning at him like the over sized goofball he is. Steve thinks this is funny and Danny kind of wants to punch _him_.

“What are you doing Steven?” Danny demands. Only it is less demand and more breathless croak.

“Keeping up tradition.” Steve tells him in the same tone he'd use to say he likes sugar in his coffee, very casual. Which is totally at odds with the very intent look in his eyes. He's looking a little too focus to pull off casual.

“Tradition?” Danny asks hoping Steve means anything that has nothing o do with mistletoe, because seriously Danny is pretty certain this is going to go seriously amuck.

Steve just quirks one eyebrow “Mistletoe?”

Steve's face is so close Danny can feel his breath. And Steve is licking his own lips while being entirely focused on Danny's. Oh crap! The silly bastard is really going to kiss him!

“Steven! Are you sure this is a good idea?” Danny curses the fact that his voice has disintegrated to an almost-whisper.

“God I hope it so!” Steve tells him right before he leans the rest of the way in “It would really suck if it wasn't. It took Kono and I forever to hang up this much mistletoe!”


End file.
